Loss is a four letter word that can be applied to a lot of different situations.
i.e. The child lost their baseball game, The girl lost her weekly planner, The family lost their grandparents, That girl lost her best friend.
Loss can happen in many different ways, both major and minor. But no matter the size of the loss, it’s always accompanied by some sort of sting.
Often times, loss is only considered to be a big deal if the person who someone lost passes away. Believe me, I have dealt with this kind of loss and it hurts in the worst way. However, something completely understated is the ache felt when you’ve lost someone who means a lot to you when that individual didn’t pass away.
Sometimes when you meet people, you connect with them on almost a spiritual level. Something in them draws something in you towards them, and it makes it nearly impossible to separate yourself from it. If this spiritual attraction ever goes down a path where the decision is yours to choose it’s fate, always choose to follow that feeling, always choose to follow that person, always.
It’s hard to find people who you can really connect with. Sure, there are coworker friends, there are friends you make when you’re sitting in a classroom fall semester that make 9am lectures bearable, there are friends you meet through mutual friends that are your ‘best friends’ for an entire summer. These all may be amazing, lively friendships -but generally they are also fleeting. It’s something so special to find someone that you meet and you click with. Establishing a relationship where you talk to each other every single day, no matter how busy the two of you are with working, or whether or not you’re fighting, or have exams…is something you should appreciate daily. It is so rare to find someone that you can confide in with the smallest secrets and the biggest problems, and trust them with your entirety to not judge you and not tell another soul.
Finding friends who would drive for hours to see you, even to do silly stuff like make Christmas wreaths and get a burger at your favorite burger spot, or pick you up to go to the best sunset watching locations. Friend dates that consist of baking goodies, and catching up, and reading books, and seeing movies, and hiking in the most remote spots and checking each other for ticks afterwards. That’s the real stuff. The real stuff is being able to sit in silence with each other and be comfortable enough to not move from the couch for hours, the hugs that are your home, and the laughing fits so strong you tear up. That is the real stuff. The real stuff is the fights and apologies and makeups and picking up where you left off.
Don’t ever be the person to let those friendships go, because missing that shit hurts. Losing someone you never thought you would live a day without is hard to bear. When the daily texts stop coming and the plans stop being made, and people in your friend’s life are prioritized consistently over you – it hurts. Don’t ever push the people who you hold these friendships with away, because you will regret it every day for the rest of your life.
No matter how hard you try to replace a friend, you will never find that person in another person. Even if their favorite hobbies are the same, and they like photography and writing and gym time too, they will never be your person in the same way as the person you are searching for in them.
Whatever you do, hold these friendships close – no matter the complications. You can’t replace these people. If you lose them, go after them. Don’t let yourself experience that loss. Never let them go.